Great Books for Men wrote, in a comment on a Roissy post, something wonderful, the likes of which I have never before read. As a literary experiment, I have edited his statement for spelling, grammar, capitalization, and punctuation, and replaced certain TXTisms with less colloquial alternatives. Ejaculations of the “lz[ozl]+” form I take as exclamation points. I have striven to preserve the sense of the text, making minor redactions where necessary to clarity and consistency. I think the result speaks for itself.

My God, you fuckity fucktards, it’s Saturday, so take the day off from being stupid for a change. The beauty of religion is that it acknowledges that there are entities, ideals, laws, and cool things greater than us that are worth aspiring to!

The problem with neocon asshhatters like Ayn Rand is that she says, “Man is god.” Thus her literature sucked, as she was unable to write tragedies such as the gospels (which end in tragedy/resurrection), Plato’s Apology for Socrates (ends in tragedy/resurrection) and Hamlet (ends in tragedy/resurrection)!

Now all you fanboy fuckity fucktards are incapable even of aspiring to the supreme glory of Athens and Jerusalem. Odysseus followed a hero’s odyssey for ideals greater than himself. Socrates followed an internal hero’s journey for ideals greater than himself. Moses followed a hero’s journey and returned with the Ten Commandments; he was a warrior who led his people on a physical journey to freedom–an ideal greater than himself. Jesus lived and died for ideals greater than himself!

And now Charlotte Allen and Ayn Rand come along and erase these heroes’ honor by glorifying stories of rape, atheism, and Tucker Max’s lies and secretive tapings of butthex without the girls’ consent. Here is why the Fiat Masters who hate Christianity fund feminist studies! And pay them to pen articles repeating the Fiat Masters’ corporate P.R lies that Tucker Max is six feet tall!

Now that brings us to the glory and sublimity of Hamlet, in whose soul Athens (honor by revenge and killing) and Jerusalem (honor by forgiveness) clashed. Hamlet becomes depressed. Like Socrates he is unable to find true virtue, like Jesus he forgives the murderous uncle, like Moses he passes judgment on the primal, eldest curse of jealousy and murder, and like Odysseus he too is called to liberate his own home from the false suitors!

All this glory is right at your fingertips, and we could talk about that, but everywhere I turn I find Jonah Goldberg war-mongering, and butthex! Butthex of the anal rape kind! Ayn rand is god! Secretive tapings of butthex without the girls’ consent! And Tucker Max is six feet tall!

The Fiat Masters must debauch both the culture and the currency! My God! Their women advocate that every girl ought to lust after undead vampire monsters who wear makeup, and this as the entire world becomes ruled by gina tingles, and gina tingles dictate that Obama is a good president, and gina tingles dictate that fiat cash is good, even as it places good men–-the common workers–-in massive debt!


So take a day off from being stupid, and stop and think, and that fiat Kool-Ade don’t you drink, as the turds in it begin to stink. It is to laugh.


Filed under Frivolous

10 responses to “/lz[ozl]+/

  1. Niko

    My favorite, his recent comment,

    “forget to pay your parking tickets and they tow your car.

    print billions out of thin air and create more debt than any othe rman and you are time magauizne’s person of teh year like ben bernanke was. “

  2. Bicyclesdontneedfish

    How tall is Tucker Max?

  3. Pingback: Word Around the Campfire – the Mother’s Day edition « Hidden Leaves

  4. How tall is Tucker Max?

    This is the new “Who is John Galt?”

  5. Cannon's Canon

    This is the new “Who is John Galt?”

    i lozzled.

  6. Joose

    I am glad I am not the only one who recognizes the genius of this singular force in modern commentary.


  7. lozlzl lzozllzlzlzzllz omg thanx

    hey roissy next time u make some ms paint masterpiece cartoons you gotta paint this one:

    CONGRESS WOMAN: Can you tell us where the trillions of taxpayer dollars went?

    BEN BERNANKE: It’s complicated.

    CONGRESS WOMAN: OMG my gina just tingled lzozllzlzllzlzzllzlz don’t worry u can tell me later lzolzlzlzlzlzlllzlzlz

    paint it next to this one

    GIRL: Are you gonns secretely tape this butthex without my conthent?

    GUY: It’s complicated.

    GIRL: LZOZLZLZL! harder depper fatser harder can u say balls deep lzozlzlz yha yahayayah ayahahha yah!!!!?


    trending topics on twitter:

    neocon secrteive tapings of butthex without the girlths consthent
    fed controlling inflation = fed CAUSING inflation lzolzl
    fed controlling bubbles = fed CAUSING bubbles lzozllz
    fed working for the people = fed bailing out goldman sachs lzozl
    fed supporting capitalism = fed bankrupting nation lzozllz

    the fed is to capitalism what tucker maxth (rhymes with gldman sax) is to teh missionary positin lzozllzlz it’s just like teh missionary position on your back but you gotta bend over and instead of penetrating ur vagainal region the cock will be enertering your anuth lloslzlzllzl and the weekly standrard will repeat tucker’s lies taht he is six foot tall an dthat he is succesthful even though his film lost over 10,000,000 of its 12,000,000 budget lozlzlzllz but that is a success to bernanke and geithener and tucker max which rhyems with goldman sax and simon and shcuster editor in a chief is a womean who is publishing tucker’s max’s next book at hey ny neconcon publishing home and she will place it ona ll the front tabels to further teh decline and welath transfer ot teh e neocns who conquered a ocuntry by desouling its womenz lozlzlzl with secrtive tapings of butthex and teahicng them 2 lust and tingle after bloodsucking vampire cockckckckckaaa and to create debt and debacuhery and butthex the world and assfuck the ocmmon man while atping it without tehir conthent for enetertainment and ny publishin house profits who peddle the stories about secretive butthex glories lxzozllzlzllzl

    why da federal resevre funds feminsims lzzlzllzlzlzlzzl

    teh federal resevre is the total feminsts, funding the assfucking of the unsuspecting poelez land secretive tapings of butthex like tucker max which rhymes iwth golldman sachs zlozlzlzlzlz

    the fed says its purpose is to avoid bubbles while it CREATES buibbles lzolzlzlzlzllzlz

    97% of the value of an MBA comes from its license thet license it gives a aoduchebag to convert buzzwords, hype, and lies ainto phsyical property and assets via the ocnscious inflation and deflation of bubbles lzozlzllzlzl as the debt-based fiat dollar is worth nothing but negaitive and the fiat masters must hype and lie hype and lie inflate bubbles and tehn defalte them and get bailed out 2 transfer massivemassive masisve amounts of welath to themselevs in teh form of phsycial property and homes lzozllzlzlzlz think about it teh inflated mortgage for the homes was created form thin air and it was infalted beyond nbelief in a bubble created by bernanke and then they pop the bubble and the home is underwater as hwile the ome value bubble plummets the great thing about ebernanke is taht he made dman sure the debt woudl augment in teh fine print lzozllzlzlzl and so the poor man loses tens of thousands of dollars years of savings labor and then the fed gets his home too for meerley playing little bubble inflation deflation games on computers backed by a feminsit police force to sezie teh home and resell it in the next bubble lozlzl was rinse repeat zlzolzzl womenz never graps the abstarct concepts here buyt just nod nod nod ndondd zlzozllzlzlzl and go gimme hgimme gimme which is why the dfed loves syocphantic womenz and funds them in tehir fmeisnt studies to killee the epic soul and great bosoks skzlzlzlz

    the fed says its purpose is to control inflation while it CREATES inflation lzolzlzlzlzllzlz

    feminsit womenz say their purpose is 2 help morality and help chidlren and help society while they publish and promote secrteive tapings of butthex and drug the childrens up and dumb them down lzozlzlzl

    the fed says its purpose is to control inflation while it CREATES inflation lzolzlzlzlzllzlz

    womenz say they want nice nice guys and sensitive guys to listen to them and they long for relationships and not just one night stands and then nigt after night they go out hunting for one night stands with vampire butthexer monsters undead blodsucking secretive tapers of anal butthhex tucker max lzoxlxlxoxlxlxlx

    the fed says it must remian independent so dat politicains do not interefer with keeping interest rates too low and definitic spending and then bernanke and greenspan keep iinterest rates too low and deficit spend as they bail out teh government goldman sachs is the government when it gets balied out as paulosn and geitner and wevery0one at the treaudrey worked for goldman sachs which rhymes with tucker max lsoslslslsl

    womenz say they want to educate dteh childruns and need more funding for shcihldren educatioon and tehn they tell teh girls to follow tehir vagina tingles after undead butthexing vampire monsters bloooduscking butthexing secretive tapers of butthex lsoslsllslslslsl and they criminialize little boys asking toomany questioons and drug them up on teh neocon ritaln adderol which enriched s the necon drug cartels and better dumbs down the boys and men who will stay in tehir single mom’s basements masging buttons and never reading teh constitution lzozlzlzlzl where it staest that the congeress alone ashall coing teh money not bernanke’s private banking cartely tempting and taking butthexing the nation and common with vast debt lzozllzlz riupping apart teh fmaily and slitting up little girls

    womenz love the fed and bigger government jsut as they love douchebag butthexing secretive tapers of butthex nmen who promise them everything and buy them shiny things iwth other men’s money and future earnings and then they love teh governmet 4 buttheixng them butthex them as the government always ends up assfucking all those thye claim to want 2 help loslsllslsolzozlzlzlzlz

    GIRL: Do you think I’m a 9?

    ME: It’s complicated. Let me do the math for you. lzozllz


    this is going on the back cover of my upcoming book:


    most 3s think they are 9s because now and then an alpha gets drunk and bored and bangs the shit out of them lzozllzlzlzlzlzlzl

    she sounds like a 2 who got banged by 7 drunk alphas so she reasons that 2 + 7 = 9.” –bestsest quotas ever from da r!! lozllzozlzzl


    then later on they think they are 9s because they count 1

    9 cats! i’m still a 9!

    from banging 9 douchebags in college who got my prima noctae youngest hottest tightest years for free as commanded by bernanke to 9 cats lzozlzlzlzlzlz which leaves me more time to market subprime loans for teh fed while wearing short sexy skirts to douchebag mba conventions headed by timothy geitner who distriubutes the fiat cash to the hottest ass lolzlzlz which is why berannke must keep all teh operations of the fed a secret zlzozlzlzl as the american peopel would be pissed to see how much cash i was getting in my short skirts zlozlz. kids, families, and husbands are silly antiquated ideas and bernanke has liberated me from this all with fiat dollars and debt as they bankrupt the wolrd and liberate us with secretive tapings of butthex like tucker max does and gets pumped and hyped in teh neocon weekly standard butthexed secretly taped without my conthent lolzlzlzlz i’m a nine! buthexed 9 times makes me a nine! lzozllzlz

  8. GBFM, I’m honored, even if your comment is sloppy seconds from Citizen Renegade.

  9. lozlzlzlzozl

    here’s one from my blog:


    i can show you the way, neo, but you will have to walk it zlozlzlzozzlozlzlzo

    ozlzlz the more you read me and roissy the mroe your life will improve as you come to see the fiat butthex matrix for what it is — you will see the green streams of data like the matrix but with a subltle difference as some of you wieinsteinas have already seen for urself lzozzll

    at the ned of the matrix neo saw it as


    and when you have walked the path you too will see the butthexing matrix for what it is and how the fed funded the desouling of womenz with massive amounts of douchcock frrom an early age in all tehir orfices and are acting through the soulles temptresses to seize your assetts now when a girl says, “what i really really want is a nice guy, i’m tired of the asswholes (lozlzl who got her younger hotter tighter)” instead of hearing what she says and then trying to be a nice guy you will hear the truth behind the butthexing matrix’s facade lzozlzl:

    douchebag10to butthex me0101
    010and i want you 2 buy me100
    01meals and a ring while i01011
    0101give by butt & vagina01010
    010away for free to butthexers1
    100who tape it scretely lzozl100
    zlzozllzlzlzozlzozzloozzllz and101
    1010make my anus sore for010
    1010days010101 101010101011
    0101pay 4 my meals0101001010
    101stds stds stds0101010101010
    10101buy me 1010a ring1010101


    the sublime act of butthex is a beuatiful metaphor for what the fed does to a currency and a country, which is why the neocon weekly standard celebrates butthexers–es[pecially those who taope it without the girkl's conthent and profit off the act. lzozlzlzlzl!

    [on the war that devastated the Real World]
    Morpheus: We don’t know who butthexed first, us or them. But we do know it was them that videotaped it without our consent while scorching the sky wioth a long trail of butthex lies. At the time, they were dependent on butthex power. It was believed they would be unable to survive without an energy source as abundant as the common man’s collective anushole. lozzllzlzlzzl

    Trinity: I know why you’re here, Neo. I know what you’ve been doing… why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer reading roissy & GBFM. You’re looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn’t really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It’s the question that drives us, Neo. It’s the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.
    Neo: What is the butthex fiat Mathrix?
    Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo, and it’s looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.

    [Neocon sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one]
    Neocon: Whoa. Déjà vu.
    [Everyone freezes right in their tracks]
    Trinity: What did you just say?
    Neocon: Nothing. Just had a little déjà vu.
    Trinity: What did you see?
    Cypher: What happened?
    Neocon: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just like it.
    Trinity: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
    Neocon: It might have been. I’m not sure.
    Morpheus: Switch! Apoc!
    Neocon: What is it?
    Trinity: A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the butthexMatrix. It happens when they change something. Now that I am an aging women in the butthex matrix with her eggs and gina drying up having given the best years of her anus to drunk alphas during colleg and getting her mba and blowing upper level mangement lzozllz, the butthexmatrix is now delivering my cats. Two this morning and now two more. yaya! lozlzl


    Morpheus: The Fiat lozllolozllzzl butthex Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. lzozozozozl! But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, bloggers, teachers, betas, lawyers, herbs, carpenters, and neocon womenz writing for the weekly standard, repeating the fiat lies of secretive tapers of butthex without teh girls conthent lzozlzlzlzl. The very minds and anusholes of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that butthex system and that makes them our anus’s lozlzlzozzozozl enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unbuttplugged. And many of them are so inured to butthex, so hopelessly dependent on the system of secretive tapings of butthex without tehir conthent, that they will fight to protect it and reapet the lies of secretive tapers of butthex in teh pages of the weekly standard even though they seem to be nice neocon ladies.
    [Neo's eyes suddenly wander towards a woman in a red dress]
    Morpheus: Were you listening to me, Neo? Or were you looking at the woman in the red dress (woman as temptress in the heor’s journey myth) who was desouled via copious fiat-funded butthex from butthexers celerbated in teh pages of the weekly standard?
    Neo: I was…
    Morpheus: [gestures with one hand] Look again.
    [the desouled, massively-butthexed woman in the red dress is now a bestselling new york times author, pointing a cock at Neo's ass; Neo ducks]
    Morpheus: Freeze it.
    [Everybody and everything besides Neo and Morpheus freezes in time]
    Neo: This… this isn’t the butthex Matrix?
    Morpheus: No. It is another training program designed to teach you one thing: if you are not one of us lozlzlzlzlers, you are one of them butthexers.


    i wanna start lzozlzlzl media where we have a character based on roissy who sees green streams of streaming data every time a bernankified chick opens her moutrh and throughout every episode all the herbs and betas pay for the meals of the chix roissy butthexes in the end due to his supreme knowelge of being THE ONE lzozlzlzllzzl

    i would be more like one of those minor characters along for the ride in the mother ship stanidng off to the side going lzozlzz zlzozlzozlzozlz zlzozllzozlzlzlz and don’t gte me worng i would score with all the hotties but like roissy woudl get first pick for his lead dick and i’d get the next two as that’s only fair lzozlzlzlzllzlzllzl

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